


i'm a slave to all of this

by fated_addiction



Category: K-pop, Real Person Fiction, TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/F, Lowercase, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 21:39:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12374634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction
Summary: they get drunk the day they renew their lease. towards the end of year four or something.Nayeon always forgets to avoid the wine.





	i'm a slave to all of this

**Author's Note:**

> Written completely on an iPhone. Mostly because I spent a lot of time running around like a crazy person. Anyways, I'm falling deeper into the rabbit hole aka no regrets.

they get drunk the day they renew their lease. towards the end of year four or something.

this is where nayeon can't help herself. she drops her elbow onto the coffee table, then her chin on her palm.

"okay, so _longest_ relationship?" nayeon slurs, but doesn't _think_ she slurs because, you know, red wine. it's a big bottle, borderline obnoxious, but whatever, she tells herself, it's friday too.

"you know the answer," momo says with a sigh, pushing the bottle out of reach. she looks annoyed. nayeon knows the expression. she pouts and her roommate shakes her head. "i've told you this story before."

"once," nayeon insists. she is still covered with glitter from craft time in the day. her fingertips are dry from the glue too. spoils of war as a kindergarten teacher. "i barely remember," she adds. "besides, you know every sordid detail of every terrible relationship i've had for the last four years."

"because i've been here." momo's voice is dry.

" _ugh_ whatever." 

nayeon waves her off and pushes the bottle forward. she watches impatiently as momo takes a small sip. it's sort of delayed and when momo scrunches up her nose, nayeon lets out a startled laugh.

"you're cute," she says, and this is part of the problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

they met because their relator was terrible. no, but seriously, she was _really_ terrible and had double scheduled appointments for the same place. it wasn't the greatest place either.

but still, several awkward greetings later, the two of them have moved into an apartment viewing, wandering around the place as the relator tried to nervously convince them, either one of them, that this is place to live for less than a grand a month.

"there's no dishwasher," momo said. nayeon had stared at her, confused because you can also wash dishes by hand _duh_. momo had stared back. her mouth quirked. "i mean," she added, "for the price she's offering there should be a dishwasher."

and maybe then, there, there was something because nayeon's mouth perks into some kind of _o_ and she's more than slightly embarrassed, she's mortified, even more so when momo's face brightens and she smiles, like, something nayeon is doing is the answer to everything. that she doesn't know how to handle.

there's other stuff too. mostly, there is a pen and a yearly contract with relator's fee which is stupid. the relator offers a twenty five percent cut to momo and nayeon may be nodding her heard in agreement but really it's all about what perfume momo wears as she stands close to her.

four years later, nayeon is in love. so oops.

 

 

 

 

 

fact: nayeon will eventually say something like, "this isn't my fault."

instead, she sits at their kitchen table surrounded by the usual suspects of glitter, glue, and construction paper of every color because the weather is calling for snow and sixteen kids during flu season and snow is a _terrible_ idea.

"you're getting ambitious."

momo arrives home sometime after ten. still covered in sweat from dance class. she owes a studio. does some pretty lucrative choreography for pop stars and other things. she doesn't really talk about it. she's shy. nayeon finds that weirdly endearing.

"i need to plan for a school day," she answers, watching momo sit next to her. she pokes at some construction paper too. "not as exciting as a video shoot."

momo shakes her head, dropping over her shoulder. "your job is equally important!"

"lies," nayeon says and ignores the heat the crawls into her face. she ignores the weight of momo pressing into her shoulders too. "you don't have to be that nice to me, you know."

"not everyone can handle children."

nayeon turns her head, looking up. "true," she concedes and laughs because that's all she can think of doing. momo is dangerously close to her and her lips part a little, a soft sigh escaping. "did you bring food?" she asks instead.

"i forgot." momo presses a kiss to the side of her head. her mouth feels a little warm. "you're the better cook. i brought home wine again though! because wine."

"because wine," nayeon says.

it's a terrible idea, of course. the bottle is obnoxiously large again and ends up over pieces of construction paper with a resounding _thud_. nayeon laughs, then momo laughs and sits next to her, grabbing her pair of scissors to help her open the bottle.

" _stop_ ," nayeon laughs too and somehow, momo digs one end into the bottle to pop the cork. it's messy and drops against both their shirts. they both fall into more laughter, nayeon taking a swig from the bottle, then momo right after like some kind of tradition has hatched.

momo drops to the floor, her hair spilling out from underneath her. it's blue today. a dark blue. nayeon doesn't remember it being blue. even though they've seen each other every day this week. it bothers her. it's not weird. momo usually goes off on jobs and shoots and about a million other things. she's not drunk, not yet, but glitter and glue makes her weirdly brave, and she reaches forward to brush some hair from momo's face.

"i'm always doing crafts when we drink," she murmurs, maybe to lighten her mood. momo's expression is unreadable. "it makes you naturally suspicious," she teases.

"lies," momo mumbles and her cheeks are pink.

they both try to smile at each other. nayeon reaches for the bottle first, pushing it to her lips.

"something happen today?"

"no," momo says. her nose wrinkles. she turns to stare at the ceiling. "okay, maybe," she says.

"want to talk about it?" nayeon abandons her school work and drops to the floor with her. she turns to lay on her back. "it'll be a nice break from boogers and the glue that's probably in my hair from earlier today."

"there's glitter only today. i always notice."

nayeon feels her face turn bright red. she groans, smacking her face with her hand.

"you should _tell_ me," she says.

momo laughs. "but i like it," she says and nayeon can read every ounce of _i'm trying to avoid this conversation_ written into her face. momo smirks and flicks her forehead. "stop frowning."

"what happened?" nayeon pushes back and maybe she shouldn't, she thinks and kind of lives with the panic. she swallows and momo is back with that weird expression. nayeon tries to be kinder. "you don't have to tell me if it's anything serious."

"it's not."

"but you're upset," nayeon points out. "like a lot."

"i'm _not_ ," momo insists. she sits up and gives her back to nayeon. she picks up the bottle of wine and pulls it to her mouth. she drinks heavily. then ends with an abrupt cough. "my ex-girlfriend," she says finally. she stumbles a little. "i'm doing choreography for my ex-girlfriend."

in hindsight it all makes sense. suddenly, there are knots in her belly and she cannot decide whether or not it's nerves, or that she's anxious about momo and _someone else_ , or that the story finally might surface and she's really not ready to hear it. they have known each other for four years and momo knows everything about her. where her classroom is. how she wanted to be a singer once. how her mom likes cacti gardens. how her dad taught her how to repurpose the inside of a car because you never know when you're going to be put in a situation. four years is a long time and nayeon can only tell you about momo's favorite song, the first names of her mom and dad because she's only ever talked to them on the phone by accident, or how momo likes italian food over american because pasta, pasta, and duh, pastries. it's terrifying how anxious she suddenly gets when the word's _momo's ex-girlfriend_ hangs over her head.

there is a lump in nayeon's throat and she takes the bottle from momo. she sighs like it's a concession.

"let's get drunk," she says.

 

 

 

 

 

(momo does tell her but nayeon doesn't remember because she really shouldn't be drinking that much red wine on a school day.

"we were young and stupid," she says fondly. gets a wistful look on her face and nayeon has to look away because it's painful to listen to the girl you love talk about the girl that _she_ loved, maybe loves. it's all sort of confusing. but momo stays wistful. "we had the same dance class and she was really, really beautiful. i could watch her dance for hours and it would have been enough."

the rest of it is sort of a blue because nayeon starts crying and the television is on with a sad love song. and momo forgets her story about the beginning, or something like that. because she leans in and her fingers are pressing against her face.

"i wish someone would watch me for hours," she sniffs. "in like a non-creepy way."

momo laughs and presses an open kiss against her face. maybe it's the alcohol. nayeon doesn't want to know.)

 

 

 

 

 

it's not three am when nayeon wakes up to puke. her hand drops off the side of the bed and smacks something hard. it's a bucket. 

"of course _you_ would," she mutters, and sits up in bed, rubbing her fists against her eyes. momo handles her water. nayeon gets ridiculous. her throat burns a little and then she's out of bed, running to the bathroom.

her heart is pounding. she stumbles into the bathroom, makes it before grabbing the toilet and vomiting hard. her stomach clenches. there's tears in her eyes and _oh my god_ , she thinks, _how much did i really drink?_ so she stays there, over the toilet, her knees pressing into the bathroom tile. it's cold and she's miserable and on a school day no less.

a cool hand cups the back of her neck. "are you okay?"

"no," she gasps. her voice cracks and her eyes squeeze shut. "i'm never drinking _again_."

momo laughs a little, kneeling by her. "did you eat today?" she shakes her head, stilly a little sleepy. "i mean yesterday."

"probably not," nayeon admits. a wave of nausea hits her. "probably never again." her eyes squeeze shut. "the drinking part. not the eating part. i like food a lot."

"i know," momo says. "i like your food a lot too."

it takes her awhile to sit back. her shoulders square up with the wall and momo makes a sound in the back of her throat, reaching for her and dragging her down to lie in her lap.

"i may never eat again," nayeon mumbles, squeezing her eyes shut. her head still feels like its spinning. "but at least you like my food, i guess."

momo hands her a glass of water again. "drink," she orders and nayeon manages to. she laughs a little. "i'll always eat your food," she says. "as long as you want to cook for me."

it's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to her. she spends her days with kids and so your expectations are lowered when the only thing you hear for hours on end are "he pulled my hair, so i punched him back!" and "dude, your superhero _sucks_ -" all the while wiping snot, fixing bruised knees and everything in between. it pushes a couple things to the surface, knots in her belly, and a heavy hand that wraps around her heart. she feels something squeeze and she makes a tiny sound.

"are you going to vomit again?" momo's face is etched with concern.

"no." nayeon groans. "at least, i don't think so."

"do you _want_ to vomit again?"

"who wants to vomit anyway?" she snorts, then groans again because the nausea hits back hard. "i'm never drinking with you again."

momo laughs. "we both know it's not true."

"okay." nayeon squeezes her eyes shut. "but let's take a break from alcohol for, like, a week. two weeks if we're ambitious."

"we're always pretty ambitious."

momo's fingers move back over her face. they start at her forehead. they push at her hair. slide along her jaw. nayeon breathes through her nose. in. then out. her eyes squeeze shut. she tries to ignore the feeling she gets. you know the feeling. the one where her head spins slightly and the words _you're so stupid_ flash in her head. this is what it's like. they've been in the same space for four years. they've seen other people. she's tried. but the knots get tighter and complicated. this is complicated.

"i have to go to work," nayeon breathes. "in a couple of hours."

momo's voice feels warm.

"one thing at a time."

 

 

 

 

 

 

the day was always coming.

it was. she knew they were going to meet. maybe fate. maybe the pseudo mechanics of the universe. nayeon reads a lot. there's only so much glitter and glue she can take.

"come to the studio," momo says, out of the blue one day. "we'll have lunch," she says too as if there was some kind of pretense. she is terrible at hiding things. "don't you have a short day today?"

"inservice," nayeon agrees. 

so she walks to the studio. it's a train ride, then four blocks. the building is beautiful, for beautiful people. she's probably underdress as it is. she wears jeans and a warm sweater. it's going to snow tonight. she's forgotten an umbrella.

the girls at the studio know her anyway. when she gets there, she waves. says hi to chaeyoung. pets jungyeon's dog. there's heavy music coming from one of the bigger rooms and she follows naturally because she doesn't get to watch momo dance a lot. she's beautiful and it's intimidating and sure, of course, they mess around at home with loud music, sunday morning breakfasts, and just the two of them against the world. but this is a little different.

myoui mina is everything she expects her to be.

standing against the wall, eyes closed, arms crossed and away from whatever is going on in the practice room, she looks more like an outsider, less like a pop star, but devastatingly beautiful. nayeon feels everything inside of her freezes.

mina's eyes open. she smiles warmly. "hi."

"hey," nayeon mumbles. her mouth folds tightly. she swallows. "is, um-" she stops because it's stupid that she's hiding that she knows momo. because everyone knows that she knows momo. and even if they didn't, she doesn't usually hide it.

"she's working." mina nods towards the door. dark eyes, warm smile. long, loose curls. it's disarming in person. nayeon sees why people fall in love with her. "you could probably go in," mina says too. she shrugs. "but, i guess - i always feel like i'm interrupting."

"i get it," nayeon admits. she mirrors mina, leans against the wall, but hides her hands behind her back. "it's a little overwhelming here sometimes."

"you're the roommate." as an afterthought, mina smiles again. "i've heard a lot about you."

"good things, i hope."

mina laughs. "momo never says anything bad about anyone."

"true." nayeon flushes angrily. it's instantaneous. her knuckles are a little white. "except, you know, when she has late night pizza and they forget the peppers."

"or the olives," mina quips.

they stare at each other. neither of them smile. this might be a test. nayeon stands a little straighter.

"i should probably leave you to it," she says.

"she's expecting you." mina sounds careful. "at least, that's what she told me earlier today."

nayeon shakes her head. "i don't do well with a lot of people," she lies. it's a terrible lie too, coming from someone who spends a lot of time with a group of sixteen kids. small ones. she rubs her face to try and make a point too. "i'll text her..."

it's sudden: but she has to get out, her thoughts being invaded by mina and momo, mina and momo _together_ and, like, it's awful because her brain rationalizes it unapologetically. she's sure they were beautiful. she only googled them once. saw a picture of them at a party and told herself _okay of course_ because momo looked happy and mina folded into her and there were six year old comments about marriage speculation. it's really, really painful and her throat starts to pinch, water, and she's flustered as she bows a proper goodbye and whirls around, ready to fire an excuse at anyone who asks her again, "aren't you here for momo?"

listen, she never said she was good at this.

being in love.

 

 

 

 

 

there's no particular moment when she knew she was in love with momo. she just knew.

maybe, okay, it was a series of smaller things. holding the door open when they were grocery shopping. loving the same horror films. "halloween is the best, duh," momo always say. maybe it was more like that time momo sat with her at the kitchen table, holding her hand tightly as she cried when her mom called to tell her childhood dog had passed away and she hadn't. been. there.

and, of course, there are the times they've fallen asleep together talking, just talking, talking about that time nayeon wanted to be a singer, how she loves the piano but misses playing it because being adult is hard work and, you know, _bills_. they talk about momo and dancing too, how it's more than just a passion, it's breathing, and there's an adrenaline rush with it when she teaches it to other people - it's all these things that pile onto each other and it's amazing and heavy and confusing and sad. the point? the point is that she can't imagine her life without momo. that's love, she thinks. she might even vocalize it. red wine, white wine. sober too.

nothing's happened and it's already painful.

 

 

 

 

 

it's nearly ten when momo comes home. maybe eleven. her phone is on the other side of the room.

nayeon hears her too. it's in parts: keys hit the hook by the door, the kitchen light snaps on; momo rummages through the refrigerator, goes to the stove and finds the soup nayeon made with the post-it that says, "help yourself~" because she may be out of sorts but she's also terrible at confrontation.

she turns her lights off before momo gets to the hallway. hears soft murmuring but no other voices and thinks to herself _thank god, maybe it's just the phone_. she lies in her bed, eyes open though. her face plasters into her pillow. she digs her fingers into the fabric and listens to momo come to her door. there's a soft knock and she listens to the door knob turn.

"are you sleeping?"

nayeon's eyes are awake in the dark. her nails dig into the fabric. she changes her voice.

"mmm." she turns onto her back, drops her arm over her eyes. "was," she lies. "did you just get home?"

"yeah." momo comes in, closes the door. she drops on the edge of the bed. "mina took me to dinner. two more days of filming. she's going on tour so we had to have dinner tonight or nothing."

"that's nice," nayeon murmurs. watches in the dark as momo peels off her sweatshirt and climbs into the covers.

it's slow. momo wraps her fingers around nayeon's wrist. nayeon swallows. her eyes water a little. she hates that she's jealous and that she knows that she's jealous, borderline _super_ jealous, and it's hard because if momo wants mina and is happy, then momo being happy is what she wants to. that's love.

"you were supposed to come."

nayeon gives up a watery laugh. "i drank too much last night."

"mina says you're really pretty." momo leans in and kisses her forehead. she inches closer too. "says that you have a nice smile and wishes that you had dinner with us."

"no she didn't," nayeon mutters.

momo laughs. "she did."

"she's too polite."

"she's that too," momo answers. her fingers move to her hair. "she's also really protective. we were friends first. then we were together. then we happened and decided friends were better." she says it wistfully and it makes nayeon's heart clench. momo's voice softens and she leans closer, on nayeon's pillow. "or i decided. or she decided. it seems like way too long ago."

"oh." nayeon leans back. only to be able to breathe. "she's really beautiful in person," she manages.

momo's eyes are bright in the dark. probably because she's so close. it feels impossible to breathe. maybe she's said the wrong thing because momo doesn't lean in and just stares. waits and stares. it makes her head spin.

"you're feeling okay?" momo says quietly, just quietly, voice low enough that she wonders if everything about today is a dead giveaway.

"hmm? yeah."

"you sure?"

"i'm fine," nayeon insists.

"you don't seem like you're fine." momo snuggles deeper into her bed. "you're the worst liar."

"i know." nayeon tries. "but i'm fine. i promise."

nayeon feels her heart begin to pound. she thinks about it: slip closer, push forward and just kiss her, damn the consequences, so what if her ex-girlfriend is pretty and probably still loves her. can you still be friend with your ex? her brain swings into overdrive.

"stop panicking," momo whispers. her fingers brush against her lip. "talk to me."

"about what?" they both know that nayeon is terrible at lying. her expression changes. "i -" nayeon sighs. "i'm fine. i drank too much and then school was chaotic as always. and, like, i always feel like i'm going to be in the way when i go and see you at work. at the studio. that's weird, i know. because i come and see you a lot and like, sure, i love everyone there and love seeing them -"

"you're important to me," momo says. her voice is clear. "stop thinking that you're not."

nayeon's lip trembles. "i didn't say that."

"you don't have to. four years and you're still terrible at keeping secrets." momo laughs huskily. "remember that time you broke the toilet?"

"not my _fault_ ," nayeon pushes back and momo laughs again, her hand cupping the back of her neck, if only to pull her closer. "i learned to fixed it though. later."

"that was it."

"what?"

"the moment," momo tells her. "year two, for me. when you were so mad at yourself and your nose scrunches and you're pretty adorable when you're mad at yourself. but you googled how to fix the toilet and you were the prettiest, hair up, messy and just you, and i just felt like you were the most amazing thing i had ever seen. you. just you. i think i loved you then. at least, that's what i tell myself. mostly, i feel like i've been in love with you all along and the world just started making sense. i know it's cheesy but it's the truth."

nayeon stares. just stares. because she feels like the world is ending and starting. it spins a little too. she stops thinking about mina. stops thinking about being jealous. stops thinking because momo is in her bed and that's normal and she's holding onto to normal, their normal, and it's the brightest, messiest thing that she's ever held onto. she loves her. she loves momo. and she thinks that momo loves her too. maybe not with those words. but it feels like it's there.

so she says it first. "i love you too."

after that, momo's mouth is on hers but maybe nayeon is the one that kisses her first. it doesn't matter. in the dark, they're even messier. fingers in momo's hair. fingers under nayeon's shirt, rising to slide over her belly, just on the underside of her breasts. it doesn't feel close enough; nayeon slides a leg between momo's, momo juts her hips forward into nayeon's. there's teeth then. momo sucks on nayeon's lip. nayeon moans. like really moans. her head is spinning and oh _god_ maybe this is too fast.

nayeon knows she doesn't care.

"it's weird when things make sense," she says against momo's mouth. flushed, still.

momo laughs. "tell me about it," she says.

 

 

 

 

 

just so you know nayeon _does_ go to the video shoot.

the last day, of course. her kids at school are putting on a play. they're sunflowers. they sing a lot of songs. today was the first night. but she's there. watches momo coach through the choreo like a pro. watches mina do that pop star thing. smiling. glittering. looking completely unreal.

momo is happy to see her. holds her hand. introduces her with their fingers laced together. pulls her to mina and they meet each other again. "the two most important people in my life," momo beams. like actually beams and squeezes her hand.

mina smiles and nods and concedes all at once.

she brings flowers from her trailer. in water. "i was going to pass these on at dinner," she says. it may be a peace offering. nayeon teaches children and reads these signals a little too well. "but i'm glad you came here," mina adds.

"sure," nayeon replies. she isn't territorial; mostly, she leans forward and kisses momo's jaw. she earns a laugh. today everything is still kind of new. anyways, momo is the one that keeps her close.

it's all the same; signing a lease is like moving forward.


End file.
